Sunday, August 30, 2009

When would I consider this "second wife" business

I am the first wife, so first off, I should begin with when I would accept a second wife (and a third:p). Or maybe I should begin with, I am the only wife, and my husband isn't looking. First off, my mother would kill him if he took a second wife (she is a non-muslim) and my mother-in-law (she is a Saudi Muslimah) would kill him. And being that it is against the law in my country it would make our lives difficult in general. And since it isn't a practice in my husband's family it would have to come out of some out-of-the-ordinary circumstances for us, since my husband is adamant that polygamy is a sunnah of exception, not a sunnah that is mustahaab. He says he would only consider it if half the male population were physically wiped out, and even then he still thinks that he would be too selfish to treat a gaggle of females fairly. It is alot of work, he says, upkeeping one wife, should she desire not to work one day, and to support all your possible children Islamically, helping them with the expenses of education and marriage and getting their first home.

BTW all, this post came out of some thinking after reading Aalia's post [here: http://chasing-jannah.blogspot.com/2009/08/ask-co-wife-interview.html ].
Still, I know women (even seeing my husband happily married to me!) eye my husband up as possible marriage material. One waitress at my favourite restaurant [not a Muslimah alhamdulilah---- I mean in this situation I would have been saddened by a Muslimah behaving this way--- not that I don't hope she comes to Islam:p] approached my husband with her phone number after I went to the restroom. The owner of the premise happened to be within earshot. "No thank-you Ma'aam, I am married," my husband informed her. "It doesn't matter," waitress said. "No thank-you," my husband said. After she went away the owner came up to my husband and apologised. (Yeah, it doesn't hurt that the owner is one of my favourite clients from my old job unbeknownst to my husband and she is the sweetest and most fiesty and independent lady EVER lol). She (the owner) informed my husband the matter would be taken care of, and she fired said waitress after service. My husband relates the experience to me, afraid it will make me feel insecure. He doesn't need to worry. I trust him already. Some Emirati chick already tried to pull the same thing. My husband generally doesn't look a woman in the eyes and always remains a respectful distance. The fact is, studies have proven, that women are more attracted to married (or engaged in a relationship) men than unmarried ones. It is wired into our brains:p Not that that is ANY excuse for behaviour without hayaa (modesty) and taqwa (fear of Allah).

Despite what alot of misinformed people think, polygamy is not encouraged in Islam. In Judaism and Christianity polygamy existed (with NOOOOOOooooooooo cap on how many wives you could have) up until the Jewish priesthood and the Christian church (not the teachings of either faith) put a kibosh on that. Islam actuallywas the first to make a move to do anything about multiple wives. Islam said you could ONLY EVER have four wives at the same time. It further specified that a man could only marry more than one woman if he could physically and mentally and spiritually treat all the women he aimed to marry fairly and equally. Which is where my husband whines, but I don't want to... Personally, I think he is CAPABLE, but I do not think he is WILLING to work that hard lol.

There is also another thing about that ayah in the Qu'ran permitting polygamy (allowing of course the four cap and the fairness part) that many forget, but let me quote it in whole first before explaining in depth:

And if you have reason to fear that you might not act equitably towards orphans, then marry from among [the] women such as are lawful to you - [even] two, or three, or four: but if you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then [only] one ...

THIS ayah SAYS THAT if you cannot be fair towards the orphans (which unmarried reverts, divorced women without families, and orphan children all are) [fair, means limit yourself to halal conduct and give sadaqah] IF YOU CANNOT DO JUST THIS, then, you should marry, to stop yourself from taking advantage of them or doing things improper. This is part of it (who you can marry when marrying more than one), coming before the cap, and coming before the "treat them fairly" bit. So if a man is marrying more than one wife, it should be a woman who is alone in the world, with little or no support. THEN, on top of that, if adds, of these women in your care, if you would marry one, do not marry another if you cannot treat her fair. It does not say you should marry three, or four, lol, if you can take care of the women without improriety within the shariah. But it says, to prevent impropriety you should marry them. Which doesn't make marriage to more than one a recommendation of the religion. The recommendation is that marriage itself stops impropriety, and the best kind of women to marry if one must marry, are those women who have no one to care for them, and really, the ayah states, that the only reason to marry more than one is to care for orphans (whether they be children who need a mother who is financially and emotionally capable to raise them, a divorced woman, a widowed woman, or a woman without family). It is quite literal, and is obvious in the Arabic AND translated text. I will say of course there are many men that abuse the meaning of the text, and thus so-called Islamic polygamy gets a bad rap, but that is not how it is. How it truly is, is very unselfish on the man's part, and an act of charity (not lust and self-satisfaction).

So having studied the sunnah of multiple marriages, I can conclude, I would accept if my husband married a second wife (even if our families both disowned us for this or my country prosecuted us for this) if she was:

a. a divorced woman who could find no other good Muslim man to marry her and she was lonely and having difficulty supporting herself and maybe even her kids (I'd be willing to work to help support her too even though Islamically my husband couldn't marry another if he alone couldn't come up with the income),

b. a revert sister without a Muslim family who couldn't find a husband but was lonely,

c. a widowed woman in the same condition as woman a..,

d. If I could not have children and my husband wanted some (then obviously he could marry from a, b, and c)

e. If I had some horrible illness that made me a vegatble, or like, paralyzed, or fatigued to the point of vegetation lol (here, and only here, he could marry any woman that he wants).

In all cases but e. I would have some further criteria... I'd have to get along with the other woman, so I'd have to approve of her too, on top of my husband approving of her. Personally, myself, I'd want us all to live in the same house (but a big house, with each wife having her own floor). I wouldn't want side by side bedrooms, ya know? Ick. But I wouldn't want my husband sleeping under another roof. I would feel vulnerable then. But I guess I would be able to live with it if wife two or three or four from categories a. and c. already owned their own properties and didn't want to sell them or move their kids. But that would be hard for me. I perfer the monster house with our own sections idea.

One of the happiest marriages I have ever seen was like this (there were three wives and two were close in age [the second and the third (the third was a divorcee with an abusive family)] and the second wife was a widow from her first marriage and was thirty years older than their husband and she was like the Mommy one the other two went to for advice. There were all extroidanarily close, and obviously, the husband sought out women that needed help and that would get along, and thus, lol, the marriage was actually harder on him (since he had to work to support all three) than it was one them. Plus, lol, since they were all so close, if he ever truly messed up, usually all three would be mad to him together lol.

So I have seen it work. So I know I could do it, if it was done right. I am totally not into the guy needing another woman (who isn't in need) when nothing is wrong with his first wife (so what, she gained some baby weight, what have you done lately?hmmm?!). I would do it if divorced or widowed if the wife or wives sat at the same table as the husband and no one was just picking me as the baby-making machine or the sex toy ya know? If that were the case I'd wind up divorced pretty fast because becuase I require intellectual depth from a spouse and require to be required for the same.

I`d also want the big house compared to seperate houses because of my own preferences. And I would never, never agree to marry a man if I knew he was already married and his wife wasn`t involved in the process. That`s about it.

I know I don`t have to worry about it in the slightest, but I thought I`d get all my thoughts and reasonings out, lol, to understand my entire stance on the issue.

Abaya Outfit Idea

I love this abaya outfit, so have made a set inspired by the look :D

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Like being shot by a bullet

O' Allah...
I have so much burden right now
What should I do?
One by one they keep coming
piling on my shoulders
stalking me everywhere
making more and more creases on my forehead
disturbing my work
controlling my mind
I don't know how long I can cope
It's getting harder and harder.

I try to find peace by tadarrus
by talking with my family
by finding comfort from dear hubby
by smiling
but in my heart
I was at another two different places
one is making me loosing my enthusiasm
the other is surviving on a shoestring
What should I do?
I wish I hit a jackpot
but that's impossible.

O' Allah...
help me please...
help me to overcome this trials
sooner would be better
but it's better late than never.
I really need Your help
There's no one better than you to help me
I'm afraid I might loose my mind soon

The fitnah, the debt, the back biting
the haters
making my life miserable
I'm so afraid...

Show me the right way...
help me please
I need You.

Off the runway: abayaat


Friday, August 28, 2009

Hijab Tutorial

I love this hijab style so I thought I'd share it with you all, the video's about 7 minutes long but I think it's worth the watch. It is by MisforMuslim:

Beautiful Eid Outfit for the Munaqaba

Brown abaya from http://www.al-hijaab.com/scripts/prodView.asp?idproduct=1673 for $40.00 GBP.

Brown niqab from http://www.sunnahstyle.com/product_info.php?pName=tie-back-butterfly-niqab-dark-chocolate&cName=niqabs-specialty-niqabs for $17.99 USD.

Mid Ramadaan Post

Salaam alaykom ramatullah wa barakto. InshaAllah all of you are having a peaceful and rewarding Ramadaan. I know I am. As such, I haven't been on the blog or replying to comments all that much so unless I do an Islamic study on my own time that you ladies might be interested in too, the only thing I'll be posting this month are things (such as fashion sets) I have already saved on the laptop. Mainly to clear it off, because after this Eid I'll be off to the Gulf with a new lap top (and my girls) where we hope to do alot more street style, lol. So hope you don't mind. I will get through going through comments at the end of Ramdaan, inshaAllah. Thank you for taking the time to make them!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Many choices at JW Collection, KK Square

Assalamualaikum and happy Ramadhan to all my friends and visitors. Thanks for taking some time to drop by my blog and reading my random writing. Recently something unthinkable happen to my dear husband and I've written a post about it although not very specific. It's just the way I'm pouring out the burden that I'm going through with him. Anyway, I can't let the problem dampen my spirit and since this is Ramadhan, I'm trying my best to fulfill it with more ibadah and happy sharing with you.

So... let's boost my self esteem with one of my fav things which is visiting any new store or boutique selling Islamic dresses. Join me at JW Collection for a drooling journey.


This is the front view of the store. It's rather small compared to the one in KB Mall but you still will be spoilt for choice. Just look at that!


Oooooh... this one really caught my eyes but I don't think I'll wear it in public, too bright for me but beautiful and the price is only RM69.


More choices that you can definitely find one that will suit you.


I already found one that I like. The salesgirl shyly helps me to hold the abaya. This pattern has 3 different colours; purple, black and brown. I love all of them, but... let's try this one....


yes.... I took the purple abaya to try but sadly it's quite tight on the above part so... it's not for me. Maybe because I put it on while my black abaya is still on. Anyway, I'll be there again next time because KK Square is just 5min from home. Oh, the price... it's RM89.90. The material is satin and very soft.

If you wish to find a colourful and beautiful abaya with reasonable price, give JW a visit and who knows you might go home with a big smile on your face.

Wassalam.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bought them for Eid but...



Yes... they are my new abayaat from ABAYA SOUQ that were suppose to be my Eid attire but because the temptation is too much for me, I end up wearing both HANNAN and LISHA twice already. Hehe.


What can I say? They fit me nicely, no need for alteration at all. And I really like both materials of this two abayaat. Oh, I'm glad I bought them from Nani at ABAYA SOUQ. However, now they are nicely pressed and waiting patiently for their next service for me.

So, just stay put and we'll meet again this Raya/Eid.

For my lil sister, lol


Punky princess, my lil sister's style.

Iftar Out

Hope Ramadan is going good! Here's and outfit idea if you want something to wear to an Iftar out:

Iftar Out

Iftar Out by Zaenab

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Qu'ran-Only Versus Qu'ran & Ahadith

For Marissa: When I first reverted to Islam I stated I would only follow the Qu'ran, which is perfect, and never go with the confusing and sometimes falsified hadith. Alhamdulilah, knowledge has revealed to me that in order to obey the Qu'ran one MUST follow the ahadith (sayings and actions of the Prophet Mohammed (sallalahu alahi wa salaam): of course, only those with authentic chains of narration. And this is where one cannot be lazy Muslim but instead must be a seeker of knowledge. Like me, you would probably want evidence from Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala to come to this understanding.

The Qu'ran says:

Qur'an 4: 64 "We sent not a messenger but to be obeyed, in accordance with the will of Allah." Qur'an 4:80 "He who obeys the Messenger obeys Allah." Qur'an 5:92 "Obey Allah and obey the Messenger, and beware!" Qur'an 24:53 "Say: 'Swear not; Obedience is (more) reasonable.' Say: 'Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger." Qur'an 48:10 "Verily those who swear allegiance to you (Muhammad), indeed swear their allegiance to Allah." and of course, the most valid ayah for me pertaining to following the Prophet's sunnah: "And whatever the Messenger gives you, take it; and whatever he forbids you, abstain from it." (59:7).

If you did not follow the ahadith, you would not know how to make wudu (only that you would have to wash), and your would not know how many rakat you have to pray, or how to do so. You also wouldn't have some of the most beautiful sayings about women, such as that they are not to be beaten (i.e harmed), and that temporary marriage marriage is forbidden till the day of judgement (yet it is not forbidden in the Qu'ran at the point when the ayah was revealed) or explaination through example of many of the commands in the Qu'ran that would have been clear to the Sahaba (such as how the khimar should be worn) but less so to us today as we forget how the Jewish and Christian women covered at the time, and how we did so to differentiate ourselves from them.

The hadith are the recorded sayings and actions of our messenger, may peace and blessings be on him and his family. InshaAllah I will write another post soon on about how to research a ruling (first taking into account the source of the hadith, then its chain of narration, what it meant in context, and what stage in the seerah (Prophet's life) was it revealed, and then, what other hadiths there on the subject, and the same for them, so one as a complete picture. If it is a hadith where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is commanding something be forbidden or something be now halal that is already and before halal or forbidden in the Qu'ran, the authentic hadith actually overrides this because the Qu'ran says: "If We abrogate [overule with something better] a verse or cause it to be forgotten [its true purpose no longer adherred to], We will replace it by better one or one similar." 2:106. The Qu'ran continuously commands us and advises us to follow the actions of the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu alahi wa salaam, and if one is to study the seerah (story) of the Prophet's life, one will see this is exactly the manner the sahaba acted in. So to do that we have to rely on valid hadith, and Bukhari's ahadith are the most widely researched, he having sought his whole life to collect hadith, find their chain of narration, and eliminate any of those that have been falsified.
It has been unanimously agreed by scholars that Imam Bukhari's work is the most authentic of all the other works in Hadith literature put together. The authenticity of Al Bukhari's work is such that the religious learned Scholars of Islam said concerning him: The most authentic book after the Book of Allah is sahih Al Bukhari.' Imam Bukhari was born on 13th Shawwal in the year 194 A.H in Bukhara in the territory of Khurasan (West Turkistan). His real name is Muhammad bin Ismail bin Al-Mughirah Al-Bukhari. His father died when he was still a young child and he was looked after by his mother. At the age of ten he started acquiring the knowledge of Hadith. He travelled to Makka when he was sixteen years old accompanied by his mother and elder brother. It seemed as though Imam Bukhari loved Makka and its learned religious scholars for he remained in Makka after bidding farewell to his mother and brother. He spent two years in Makka and then went to Al-Madina. After spending a total of six years in Al-Hijaz which comprises MAkka and Al-Madina, he left for Basra, Kufa and Baghdad and visited many other places including Egypt and Syria. He came to Baghdad on many occasions. He met many religious learned scholars including Imam Ahmad Bin Hanbal. Owing to his honesty and kindness and the fact that he was trustworthy he used to keep away from the princes and rulers for fear that he may incline to say things to please them.Many a story has been told about Imam Bukhari regarding his struggles in collecting Hadith literature. He travelled to many different places gathering the precious gems that fell from the lips of the Noble Prophet Muhammad. It is said that Imam Bukhari collected over 300 000 Ahadith and he himself memorized 200 000 of which some were unreliable. He was born at a time when Hadith was being forged either to please rulers or kings or to corrupt the religion of Islam. It was a great task for him to sift the forged Ahadith from the authentic ones. He laboured day and night and although he had memorised such a large number he only chose approximately 7275 with repetition and about 2230 without repetition of which there is no doubt about their authenticity.Before he recorded each hadith, he would make ablution and offer a two Rakat prayer and supplicate his Lord (Allah). Many religious scholars of Islam tried to find fault in the great remarkable collection, but without success. It is for this reason, they unanimously agreed that the most authentic book after the Book of Allah is Sahih Al-Bukhari.Imam Bukhari died on first Shawwal in the year 256 A.H and was buried in Khartank, a village near Samarkand. May Allah have mercy on his soul.
More about following the Prophet's Example In Order to Understand and Obey the Qu'ran: Qur'an 33.21 "Verily in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example for him who looks unto Allah and the Last Day." Qur'an 60.4 "There is for you an excellent example, a pattern in Abraham and those with him[ie: Mohammad], when they said to their people: 'We are through with you and with what you worship besides Allah. We reject you. Hostility and hate have come between us forever, unless you believe in Allah only.'" Qur'an 6.83 "And this was Our argument which we gave to Abraham against his people. And We gave him Ishaq (Isaac) and Yah'qub (Jacob) [; each did We guide, and Nuh (Noah) did We guide before, and of his descendants, David and Solomon, and Job and Joseph and Moses and Aaron; and thus do We reward those who do good (following Muhammad's example in the Sunnah). And Zachariah and Yahya (John), Isa (Jesus) and Elias; every one was of the good [i.e. Muslims]; And Ishmael and Elisha and Jonah and Lot and every one We preferred above men and jinn."

The one thing you have to do sometimes, is seek out a scholar, and see if a hadith is authentic, i.e, has a solid chain of narration. For example, the hadith about Asmaa coming to the Prophet sallalalhu alahi wa salaam and her clothes being thin and a bit see-through, and him telling her to cover everything but her face and hands? Its narration actually has not connection to the person who is supposed to be narrating it. Also, if the hadith seems harsh, knowing its context often helps. There are alot of weak (no solid chain of narration) hadiths out there, and even worse, some fabricated ones, so I often use scholars who can research chains of narration. But there is a direct command in the Qu'ran to take what the Messenger recommends us, and to leave what he forbids us, so... that is why I follow the sahih ahdith and the Qu'ran. I find Qu'ran-alone Muslims lacking in some of the five pillars, and actually disobeying multiple commands in the Qu'ran.

Ramadan Kareem

I hope Ramadan is going well for you all, we're into the second day and only 4.5 hours to go for me till Fatoor! I may be posting slightly less as I'm moving house at the moment and soon to be staring university. I also want to knuckle down and finish reading the Quran before Eid, Insha'Allah (I'm half way through so wish me luck lol) and focus on fasting as opposed to fashion for a while. I hope that you all get what you want from Ramadan and that your efforts are rewarded abundantly. I love all of you, my sisters in Islam.

Zaenab

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A TRIBUTE TO ALLAH, YA ILAHI

Assalamualaikum and a very good day to all my dear friends. It's the second day of Ramadhan and all around the town I can feel the spirit of it especially during the peak hours before breaking our fast. One of these days, I'm going to post some pictures of how people in Kelantan celebrate Ramadhan. However, for now, I'd like to share this beautiful nasheed that means so much to me. Sometimes when I'm down, I listen to this nasheed to boost my iman. It contains music so if you have an issue with it, I'm sorry. I'm a bit lenient with music if what really matters to me is the lyrics and the message behind it and the song is praising Allah.


YA ILAHI

IN THE NIGHT, AMONG THE NIGHTS
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
A DARKNESS INVADED ME
O' LORD

THE EARTH AND THE SKY SHRINKED
AND MY HEART DIDN'T SEE THE LIGHT
AND THE TEARS STARTED TO FALL
O' MY GOD

O' MY GOD 4 X

I SINNED AND THE REGRET IS BIG
AND I AM IN MY SADNESS SORRY
I CAN'T SUPPORT THIS REGRET O' LORD

DO THE ENEMY, O' GOD, NEED TO BE
A CRIMINAL
I CAN'T SUPPORT THIS BITTER REGRET
O' MY GOD

O' MY GOD 4 X

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CREATED ME
GAVE ME MERCY
AND ENRICHED ME
ALWAYS, O' LORD YOU WERE WITH ME
BUT I NEGLECTED YOU
AND I FORGOT WHAT YOU HAVE
AND I FOLLOWED MY ROAD
O' MY GOD

O' MY GOD 4 X

C/O
YOU ARE THE ONE GAVE ME MERCY
AND ENRICHED ME, WHO CREATED ME
ALWAYS, O' LORD YOU WERE WITH ME
BUT I NEGLECTED YOU
AND I FORGOT WHAT YOU HAVE
AND I FOLLOWED MY ROAD
O' MY GOD

O' MY GOD 4 X

AND TODAY O' LORD, I AM DEMANDING
PROTECTION FROM THE DARKNESS
WITHOUT FRONTIERS
THE HEART IS BROKEN
AND THE PATH IS HARD
AND I, THE DROWNED, I ONLY SEE YOU
TO RESCUE ME
NO RESCUER, NO RESCUER
EXCEPT YOU

O' MY GOD 4 X

O' MY GOD 4 X

Thanks for listening and watching with me.

Ruffled Abaya

Looking for an abaya with tiers of ruffles? I found one style (it comes in a few different colours beyond black) available here http://bintq.com/designerabayas.html.

Imaan Collections launches their Eid Collection

MashaAllah I was so happy to get the email from ImaanCollections in my inbox with the above pic on a Ramadan mubarak wish from the site, because that is soooooo my personal style:D. Aalia, remember my navy jumper with pink hear buttons (the buttons were usually covered by a pink hijab). Anyways, I love their stuff. A bit too pricey for everyday wear for me, but I can get inspiration and splurge for a special peice if I have the occasion to.
FOR THE PARTY GIRL:
FOR THE COSMO/I HAVE A JOB GIRL:
THE SLIGHLYMORE URBANE/STREET STYLE SISTA:

IN PROGRESS: The Qu'ran

Surah Al Jinn (Chapter 72) "The Jinn/the Spirits"

Surah Muzzammil (Chapter 73) "The One Wrapped in Garments"

Surah Al-Muddathir (Chapter 74) "The One Enveloped"

Surah Al Qiyamah (Chapter 75) "The Resurection"

Surah Al-Insan (Chapter 76) "Man"

Surah Al-Mursalaat (Chapter 77) "Those Sent Forth"

Surah An Naba (Chapter 78) "The Great News"

Surah An Nazi'at (Chapter 79) "Those Who Pull Out"

Surah Abaser (Chapter 80) "He Frowned"

Surah At Takwir (Chapter 81) "The Overthrowing"

Surah Al Infitar (Chapter 82) "The Cleaving"

Surah Al Mutaffifin (Chapter 83) "Those Who Deal In Fraud"

Surah Al Inshiqaq (Chapter 84) "The Splitting Asunder"

Surah Al Burooj (Chapter 85) "The Stars"

Surah At Tariq (Chapter 86) "The Nightcomer"

Surah Al 'Ala (Chapter 87) "The Most High"

Surah Al-Ghashiyah (Chapter 88) "The Overwhelming"

Surah Al Fajr (Chapter 89) "The Dawn"

Surah Al Balad (Chapter 90) "The City"

Surah Ash Shams (Chapter 91) "The Sun"

Surah Al Layl (Chapter 92) "The Night"

Surah Ad Duha (Chapter 93) "The Forenoon"

Surah As Sharh (Chapter 94) "The Opening/Gushing Forth"

Surah At Tin (Chapter 95) "The Fig"

Surah Al 'Alaq (Chapter 96) "The Clot"

Surah Al Qadr (Chapter 97) "The Night of Decree"

Surah Al Bayyinah (Chapter 98) "The Clear Evidence"

Surah Az Zalzalah (Chapter 99) "The Earthquake"

Surah Al 'Adiyat (Chapter 100) "Those that Run"

Surah Al Qariah (Chapter 101) "The Striking Hour"

Surah At Takathur (Chapter 102) "the piling up"

Surah Al 'Asr (Chapter 103) "the Time"

Surah Al Hamazah (Chapter 104) "The Slanderer"

Surah Al Fil (Chapter 105) "The Elephant"

Surah Quaraysh (Chapter 106) "The Tribe of Quaraysh"

Surah Al Ma'um (Chapter 107) "Almsgiving"

Surah Al Kauthar (Chapter 108) "A River in Paradise"

Surah Al Kafiroon (Chapter 109) "The Disbelievers"

Surah An Nasr (Chapter 110) "The Help"

Surah Al Masad (Chapter 111) "The Palm Fibre"

Surah Al Iklas (Chapter 112) "The Purity"

Surah Al Falaq (Chapter 113) "The Daybreak"

Surah An Nas (Chapter 114) "Mankind, or The People"

Friday, August 21, 2009

Ramadaan Kareem


A FEW DAYS BEFORE RAMADHAN

Assalamualaikum and Ramadhan Kareem everyone. I think I feel the peace and happiness spreading all over the place with Ramadhan's spirit. It's a kind of an overwhelming feeling if you are able to fast and do the compulsory and commendable ibadah.

Lucky people.

Anyway, I was just going to share what had happened a few days before Ramadhan.

Well, there were so many things happened but I will just share ones that are important to me.

On Wednesday, I have a meeting with 2 of my close friends at my office as my contribution in helping one of them to organize a JUMBLE SALE as a fundraising activity for her school. Kak Ina, is the headmistress of SRI AL-HAFEEZ, a new private Islamic primary school. She's been doing her best in raising funds for the school and as a friend, I'll try my best to help her. Along with he thelp of Kak An (jumble sale was her idea), we are planning to do this project as soon as possible, maybe after Eid. Hopefully this project will be helpful and fruitful for the school.



After the meeting, we went out for lunch at NOODLE STATION, KB Mall, a treat from Kak An. It's my first time eating there and I tried one of the noodle dishes that only get 3stars from me. It's good but not very good and taste like Kak An's noodle. However I still like it. Just enjoy the pictures.

Thursday was a very hectic day for me. Although it's my OFF DAY but I hvae to do so many errands for my bookshop and also for my family. Early in the morning I washed the clothes then ironed several of my husband's shirts and also my abayaat. At 8.00 am, I have a whole body massage treatment at home until 10.30 am. It was very good but that night my whole body feels hurt. Lucky the next day, I'm okay.

After that I took my mom to a an optometris for her new glasses and also mine. Then off we go to 3 banks at 3 different places, from Kubang Kerian to Pengkalan Chepa and lastly to Kota Bharu. Next was to the post office to post a few packages for my customers. Back at home at 1.00 pm and got busy with Zuhur and lunch preparation. Afternoon.... I was so tired and passed out.

Yesterday was another busy day and we just recieved news that my FIL has a heart attack and he was in quite a bad condition. At the same time my husband have to go for a 2-days course. I have to cancel my attendance to my monthly religious group meeting and do what I hvae to do for the family.

That's it. And today, on the 1st Ramadhan, I'm back at work.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

"Hijabifying", the definition, in English

In the world of Islamic fashion blogging, a new word has come into existance: "Hijabify". We all use it, perhaps to the confusion and annoyance of some, and the applause and adoration of others. It means different things to different bloggers. Surprisingly, it is not on wikipedia yet, so I thought I'd help ya'll all out.

Hi.jab.i.fy. (hee-jab-i-fy)
most commonly used as a verb
ex. To hijabify this look you will need ...

1. To make high fashion and street wear into Islamic clothing by adapting it to cover the body parts required to be covered in the authentic sunnah (everything but the hands and face * see requirements of a Muslim Woman's Dress) in the manner required in the authentic sunnah (loose, not see-through, or for show and pride, and an overgarment *see requirements of a Muslim Woman's Dress), or taking inspiration from a non-Islamic source through colours and accessories but not straying from any of the requirements of a Muslim Woman's Dress.
2.) Slap a headscarf onto anything so long as there is no skin or very little skin showing.
3.) To make high fashion and street wear into Islamic clothing by adapting it to cover everything but the face and hands in a manner that is loose and not see-through, or taking inspiration from a non-Islamic source through colours and accessories but not straying from any of the requirements of a Muslim Woman's Dress.

My def. is the first one, because I read the command in the Qu'ran and the ahadiths. I respect the third one though I disagree with it on the grounds of modifying the Qu'ran to the extent of rejecting it, because at least it is thoughtfully-based on Islamic ideas and principles. Unfortunately, the second definition is FAR TOO COMMON in the hijab world. Say you take for inspiration the non-hijab picture below. You take the exact same dress and belt. You layer a skin-tight carina turtle-neck under it and skinny jeans under it. And you call it hijabifying it, even though, in Islam, this outfit you have created (first set, top of the page) BARES NONE OF the characteristics of Islamic hijab since it conceals nothing but the skin. It actually does not hide the body parts. Clothed but naked. As labelled in the hijabified-but-not-anything-to-do-with-hijab-but-scarf hijab set, a. the cut of the top/dress emphasises the bust line and cleavage width, b. the belt ephasizes the waist and thus the hips and butt and bust-line, c. the only-thing overgarment about it is from the ribcage to the thigh, and d. as much as I hate it to say it because I think all covering is good, the outfit would be more modest without the headscarf and the tight jeans. You'd just look like a cute, pretty girl, rather than sexy Muslimah. Sexy in the sexual tense cannot be comprised with "hijab" in any Islamic sense. If you have no clothes but such dresses and skinny jeans and can't afford new clothes inshaAllah PLEASE contact fellow sisters (feel free even to leave a comment here on this blog) and I will do my best to get you some more modest attire, and Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala accepts you intentions. If you're not in the third world though, and you've been Muslim for over two years (past puberty), this form of bad hijab isn't excusable anymore.
So what if you loosen up? If you have a hard time finding loose skirts and dresses in suitable non-clingy fabrics or jilbabs, this look is quite acceptable and pretty modest (I personally don't think it is dressing according to the sunnah but I do think it is modest). Wide-leg trouser pants, full-sleeved top, long top over top and loose top over the bust (girls often use shrugs). Um, a. just loose the belt and make sure your hijab covers your chest, and b. know the jilbab [an overgarment] is of the sunnah and is a command in the Qu'ran for the believing women.
I really think this here on below, the third set, is the best example of "hijabifying" since it is using clothing that is, on its own as peices, unislamic in what and how it covers, but combined, it actually forms a modest overgarment. As you can see, the belt has been lost and the pink of the inspiration peice has been replaced in the skirt and with the clutch. A long light sweater shrug flows loosely away from the body, drawing attention away from the curves of a woman's body, and the hijab aka khimar (the proper word for the headscarf is khimar and not hijab) is pulled over the chest as the Qu'ran commands the believing women to do.
Now, "hijabifying" can also be done to traditionally Islamic clothing (ha ha ha, I love this cuz I find it easier and I end up spending less money and being more comfortable in my clothes but to each their own) by taking a jilbab or long khimar, ect, and using a non-Islamic inspiration source, use some of the colours and accessories from the look to make a "halal-take" on the style. For example, instead of using a belt, I would take the colour of the belt and use a clutch. Instead of the earrings, a ring. This post took a long time to do, so I am tired and off to bed:D

RAMADHAN MUBARAK



TO ALL MY FRIENDS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

HAPPY RAMADHAN EVERYONE.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hijabi Beginner: 5 Pros Of Hijab

As part of my 'Hijabi Beginner' posts, I decided to make a list of five of what I think are the main reasons a Muslimah should wear the hijab. When you are thinking about wearing it, so many things go around in your head so I hope the list makes it that bit easier to decide.

Before reading it, remember that the word 'hijab' in Arabic means 'barrier' not 'headscarf' or 'modest dress'. A barrier is something built not something that pops up automatically when you cover your hair with some material. So before you even think about covering your hair, make sure the foundations for a proper hijab are already in place in your life by the way you act, talk and dress especially around men.

1. Simply and most importantly because has Allah (SWT) ordered us to wear the hijab and to cover up. If you believe in Allah (SWT), you pray and do good deeds and wish to obey Him (SWT) then sooner or later you will feel the urge to wear hijab. If you don’t feel like this at all, you should focus on other, more fundamental parts of Islam like reading the Quran, prayer and even things like questioning the sort of effect the people you socialise with have on you and the way you act.


“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils (head coverings) over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment accept to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.”
[Al Nur: 30]

Note what is mentioned first in the Iya: the lowering of the gaze and acting modestly or the covering of the breasts?

2. Dressing modestly in a world where women (and men!) are sexualized a lot will get you more respect from people who may have otherwise just ‘checked you out’ treating you, consciously or subconsciously, as a commodity.
3. Although a daunting thought and often a deterrent for a women wishing to wear hijab in the Western world, people will automatically know that you are a Muslim. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing though! If you are a walking representation of your religion then show it in a good light by the way you act and deal with people; if you change just one person’s bad opinion of Islam the jobs a good’n!

4. Only the people you want to see your Awrah will see it, when your outfit leaves only little to the imagination get back to the drawing board, love. On a slightly more serious note, if your outfits really do lend an eyeful and you want to dress more Islamically, start by de-cluttering your wardrobe of the most revealing items you have and then focus on covering your breasts, waist, hips and then move onto longer sleeves and covering the thighs. You’ll be several steps closer to hijab :)

5. People judge you by your intellect, opinions and achievements instead of your quickly perishable looks and you’re conforming by attempting to replicate unreasonable beauty stereotypes seen in the media.

I could go on and on but remember, the most important reason is because we are told to do so by our Creator who knows us better than we know ourselves and so knows what is good for us and what isn’t (SWT). I’m not saying that the next time you go out you must be covered from head to toe, that’s ridiculous. Islam came to humans in small chunks at a time so they could take it in and adapt their lives easily and over a long period. This is what a Muslimah wanting to be a Hijabi should do, adapt her lifestyle and clothing to be suited to Islam and Hijab only then should she cover her hair. Hope this helps any budding hijabis! More coming soon Isha'Allah :D
As salaam alaykom ramatullah wa barakato sisters!

InshaAllah Ramadaan approaches and for most of us it is a mere matter of one or two days. InshaAllah if you have clear skies, try and go by when the moon is sighted by your local masjids. If there are no local masjids to go by, try and watch the news or find the closest Masjid or city on a look out of the web. I believe, should we see the moon hear, or in Vancouver, ect... Ramadaan should start Thursday or this friday.

InshaAllah we can all be worthy of the blessings of this month of mercy. I am so excited. Just letting everyone know, um, something is up with my computer which is making its internet usage kinda hazardous. It is freezing and randomly shutting down alot, so I am gonna try and get my husband to fix it when he time.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Islamic Cultural Festival

Hey, sorry for not getting back to anyone, finishing half-finished posts, or getting back to the comments with questions in them, but I got distracted by the Islamic Cultural Festival that we went to on the weekend:

Yeah, it was alot of cultural (the Saudis had a HUGE section), with dances and stuff (Indonesian little girls, Saudi men from different provinces) but there was Qu'ran recitation, and alot of dawah materials, henna, and a calligraphy/henna area. My purse weighed sooooooo much with the free Qu'rans in different languages. The husband and I always end up with lots of converts/reverts or people inquiring about Islam so I took the oppurtunity to stock up on some dawah materials. MashaAllah the dawah committty managed to help me get a brother and sister a Chinese translation of the Qu'ran, and the only one they were short on was Spanish. Which I needed but... hey. But I forgot to grab a Korean one. So at least I got the group's email so I can order one for one woman asking in the Masjid who has trouble following the arabic/english khutbah.

What I ABSOLUTELY LOVED is that whenever the Qu'ran was recited the clouds did part and it was sunny. Serriously. Ask anyone that was there, subhanAllah. I also found it hilarious that just before the dancers from Saudi were about to preform their tribal dances (they had Mekkah and Medina with their stick dance with a video available here
, the interior represented with a very dull sword waving dance, and the South with a very enthusiastic jumping hand-waving dance [this is my husband's and it always makes me laugh but it isn't that elegant] , a dog walked by homeless people decided to urinate on their preformance place. They announced to the crowd that they were having technical difficulties until a brother bought a water bottle and poured it over the cement:D. Yeah, hear a dog bark and watch a predominately Muslim crowd freak out:D

They had henna to draw in people, and snakes you could hold, and lots of little booths to tell you about different Islamic countries. We spent about four hours there, and then went out for lunch after dhuhr. We happened to run into a sister we had lost contact with, and alhamdulilah she is well. I was also happy to see the brothers dressed in their Islamic clothing. I wish the ones from my city did not feel they had to take it off, returning on the ferry. To all the brothers out there, I am proud of you for your thobes and your beards and your long tunic shirts, and your loose pants, and your kufis. We are supposed to dress as believers and that is not just the women, so mashaAllah to the brothers that came out visibly as Muslim men. You made me proud to wear my niqab:p

For more on the Van. festival, check out their webpage http://www.cice.ca/location.html.

LIKE BEING ALONE

Assalamualaikum my friends and visitors.

Alhamdulillah, at last I can access my blog again after some fatal error for almost a week. I really don't know what's the problem is but every time I logged in, I can't even open my blog. I MISS you. I really miss writing daily in KakChik's Wardrobe and I'm so glad that this blog is still available for me.

Whenever I can't write, I feel like I'm alone in this 'world' and some times I feel the same thing in reality too.

Anyway, let's forget about it and be positive for the coming days.

After one week, we are going to meet with RAMADHAN and I believe all of us are really looking forward for this holy month. Getting ready physically and spiritually for IT makes me feel like I'm going to meet someone very important. I have to wear the best dress that I have, behave with the best behaviour, and so on, just to make sure that I can face HIM with my best condition during Ramadhan.

Oh, got to stop for a while.... INTERMISSION.... be right back

Friday, August 14, 2009

Celebrity Style Steal: Cheryl Cole's Hippie Dress

I saw this photo of Cheryl Cole the other day in a magazine and love her outfit so much that I had to do a post on it. After searching google for far too long I finally found the website (http://www.bluebee.com/) that she bought the dress from but unfortunately they don't sell it anymore, however they do sell a very similar dress (below) for $398.00 here. It is pricey but it's 95% silk and I looove it :D

Regrettably, we don't all have that amount of cash to splash on a single ensemble so I decided to recreate the look using items more within our decidedly limited budget.. Here is a skirt I found from a lovely website (http://www.thelittlebazaar.com/) that has a massive range of gypsy skirts all at fantastic prices, you can find this one here for a pocket-friendly $24.99.


I have paired it with wardrobe basics to complete the look, I gave the waist belt a miss as I don't think that counts as a hijabis wardrobe essential:

I think a hippie hijab style like this would look best with the outfit, but of course you can experiment to find what works:

Hope you like the look ^-^

IN PROGRESS Juma Mubarak: My Advice for Sisters Thinking of Marrying Saudis

Juma Mubarak,

In light of certain events, I have decided to do a post on advice for women thinking of marrying Saudis, co-authored by my husband (a Saudi---so no one can say I am bashing Saudis in anyway). This can be applied to any person thinking of getting married, but it is written from the only perspective that I know.

OUR ADVICE FOR SISTERS THINKING OF MARRYING SAUDIS (OR ANY OTHER GCC GUY)
by Y and Pixie

Pixie: Alhamdulilah, I am married to a Saudi man and everything worked out and yes, we are a couple deeply in love, and yes, everything has worked out for us and when people see how we treat eachother they forget that it is not easy.

Y: Marriages are never easy, but people [Saudis] look at us, and see us, and think, "I can do that" and they don't realize what ...[Pixie] and I have given up for to be with eachother. They [Saudi guys] also look at how ...[Pixie] and I met in school [before Pixie had converted] and want the same kind of meeting.

Pixie: Ain't gonna happen, lol. Not with a practicing Muslimah. I (as a practicing Muslimah) am not gonna look twice at a brother until I am approached with a meeting with a wali et all. And I was kinda like that even before Islam. I didn't want someone to defend my honor at the time, but I didn't want to waste my time. Western girl and Saudi guy seemed like a bad match from the get-go. Until I had Islam, I didn`t see too much in common with me and Y, besides a guy that liked my morals and sort of idealized the charitable person I was. Which was a bad thing to me. When you put someone on a pedastal, they are gonna fall from that pedastal, and shatter that image you have of them. So don`t marry an image, be it beauty or ethics.

Y: Love at first sight can be dumb at first sight, lol. I forgot how much you talk. Advice to the brothers, think with you head, not your heart. My wife actually told me to do this before I got to know her for the purpose of marriage. It`s good advice.

Pixie: [to Y] I wasn't star-struck with you ya know. That was all you. I was like, I am too busy in my life and Saudi men are the scum of their earth, the way they treat their women. Prejudiced as I was, lol. So we got to know eachother, but didn't flirt. It was all very-workplace, since I worked at the school. With a Muslimah, you know it is going to be marriage if you guys have to contribute to anything other than work or an Islamic issue or greeting ya know? So it is like you skip this step in an Islamic way of getting to know eachother. Which is good, because you don`t get an illusion of the person. A mistake Y and I made was having overly idealistic images of the other person. Believe me, just cause a girl took care of orphans, it doesn`t make her an easy sweet person to live with, lol.

Y: No kidding, lol. Your family warned me.

Pixie: One thing Y did was he went to meet my family right away. Y told my father of his intentions in a way that would be honest (marriage is my purpose) but that wouldn`t weird my non-muslim father out. And this was before I was even interested in him.

Y: Remember, she wasn`t Muslim yet, otherwise, I would have gone through the Masjid, got the Sheikh to speak to her. But she would have been offended then,

Pixie: Yeah, I was prejudiced. Patronizing Islam I would have scoffed. LOL. When I became Muslim, that really changed. And I did this A YEAR AWAY from having anything to do with or speaking with Y, revert I mean. It did have nothing to do with him, as I had no interest in him UNTIL I became a Muslim.

Y: Thanks.

Pixie:p

Y: When she became a Muslim, I knew I had to treat her how I would want my sister to be treated. None of this cultural bull-****. Some Saudi guys think of her as a Canadian girl, but she`s not. She`s a Muslim woman. That comes first. Be patient in explaining the shariah-way of doing things with her, if she gets offended by them, or thinks you are trying to tell her what to do when you are simply telling her what Islam says is the right way for you to conduct yourself around her. Let her realize it. If she is a convert, she will, when she studies more. She`ll end up knowing more than you, more than likely, and will end up teaching you things.

Pixie: Yes, don`t let a guy treat you in a way his father never treated his mother, or in a way different than he`d want a man courting his sister to be. Let him be the kind of man he wants for his sister. You`ll make him better, and if he is going to change to be a better person, this`ll be the only way that`ll come from himself. Because people don`t get better (I mean you can`t change them) so be prepared for them to get worse. If they get 40% worse in something that annoys you will you still love them ... i.e like being around them, then you have a chance. As a woman, please educate yourself about the ideal Muslim man (don`t expect to see him instantly though) so you can know what you will need in your life. As a convert, you might not see yourself as overly religious in the early stages of your marriage, so you might reject more religious men, but find later on that the man you ended up marrying does not fulfill your Islamic requirements of a husband (he keeps you away from your deen rather than helps you pursue it).

Y: Find a wali that knows the character of the man you are thinking about marrying but is Islamic enough to give the idiot up in a heartbeat if he does anything low to you. Your wali has to care more about Islam than he does finding either of you a mate. And any good wali has to take the Islamic rights of the woman over the cultural ones of the man. The wali should also be practical, not Islamically idealistic, so he can point out where both of you are going to have difficulty should your Islamic manners fail upon occasion (and they will).

Pixie: Saudis like many Arabs are very family-orientated. Determine very early on where you are going to live, and if the family approves of you. If the man is not willing to share the idea of taking a foreign wife with his family, then leave the situation. And lol, of course, consider if they only disaprove because they don`t know you, or they object to the idea of anyone not from an elite social group. The latter there is no hope for. If the man says he`ll cut off all but Islamic ties because his family is behaving so unislamically after he`s tried everything, then consult your wali if it is still safe to go ahead.

Y: Try and get the support of both your families. Family is very important in Islam, and while we as men owe our first obligation to our mothers, we should not support our mothers in unislamic behaviours. The Islamic way is the best way.


WILL WRITE MORE LATER INSHAALLAH, we have to get ready for juma.
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