Hello Lovlies, and Asalaam 3laykom

Dear loyal followers of I Love Hishma:

I have missed you. Really I have. I just have had no internet, went through alot in life, and had trouble deciding who I wanted to be.

Some of you thought of me as a rolemodel. For a while, I was in no shape to be one. And I never set out to be one. And I don't want to be one. One particular sister out there who was my friend and then gave up on me because I couldn't tell her the whole story: Don't judge, lol. Serriously. You have NO IDEA what some sisters go through.

But I am sorry if I disapointed you to find out I have troubles and deal with them not always to the sunnah. I should, it is best, but I failed.

One's rolemodel should be the Prophet Mohamed SAW and the other Prophets alahi wa salaam, and fashion inspiration can change and change and change, but the women of the Sahaba ROCK my world, more than designer abayas, and they decide my fiqh on make up and what can be shown or not ect...

Also, to tell you my story is to tell you the story of many men and women, and that is not my place, or my desire. Some of you ask. I have 700 unmoderated comments, all questions about my life or about a post and honestly, if you read the whole blog, you know all my opinions about hijab and jilbab ect...

This blog is my strictest beliefs of what I think correct Islam/hijab is. As a person, I am not nearly so unbending, and cultural things DO fascinate me, though I often do not equate them with Islam.

Hijab is an issue in fiqh that I am going to belittle by a silly comparison. This blog, if you read just one post and leave a comment, saying, LET THE UNRLEIGIOUS GIRLS WEAR HIJAB HOW THEY WANT, know, I am with you on that. If you read my whole blog, you would know I believe hijab is more than scarf and it is not a compulsion but an act of faith. Knowledge helps faith though. Sometimes it makes faith harder, because knowledge leads us to ask more questions. Sometimes the answers, if we have faith enough to wait for them, lead us to BELIEF, which is stronger even then faith. One post does not a blogger's opinion make. One rumour does not equal Pixie's life. One hadith does not a fatwa make, nor one ayah, but everything in its order and place in its entirety.

If my life is more important to you that what I have written, even if what I have written about hijab has been true, just because I am certainly not always perfect, then seek a higher example and don't bother with blogs. Read the books that document the source, the inspiration. If truth is more important human failing, know this blog records my strictest opinions. I have never meant to offend anyone. This is the measure I strive to measure to. Sometimes I don't have the strength to stand on my tippy-toes and strain to reach what is just beyond my capabilities but within the height of my knowledge and understanding.

Anyways, I have been writing along with a few other sisters (mainly recording their stories and mixing us all [and also one non-muslim sis who I adore]) on this blog http://howtolivelikeanomaniprincess.blogspot.com/ for a while. Some of you know that.

I am never going to write my whole story. Not because I am ashamed of it but because one cannot tell their life story without invading the privacy of others.

And sister Hayah who I am collecting abayat for, please email me and confirm your address. Also if there are any sisters who can send sis Hayah somlai style khimars (which are definately not worn in Oman) in greys and blacks, leave a comment, let me know, and I will tell you where to send them by email.

Jazzakallah kheir and much love to you all.

Up to 541 unmoderated comments, ughhhhhhhh

Soooooooooooooooooooooo Pixie UPDATE:


I am in Oman. [Most of my loyal readers and blog friends know this] I came to the Gulf to find halal employment. My old job was in a bank. That dealt in riba. Soooo... Yes Y [my Saudi husband for those that are unfamiliar with the blog], I know you don't want me to bother with ANY personal information, but people back home, ummmmm, I didn't leave my husband because I didn't like him?! WTH? LOL, some of the gossip people engage in is really funny. It is like that children's game, Telephone, where you whisper something in one person's ear and it comes back to you after passing a circle and it is sooooooooooo messed up, lol, is nothing like what you originally said at all?


I came here because I wanted to have an easier life, I mean, be able to wear niqab even if I want and walk down the street like that is normal. Y had to stay in Canada. Our life was there, and yes, lol, I winced out of the hard stuff. But alhamdulilah, after Ramadaan Y can come here.


I know some crazy stuff happened with Aalia (anyone gossiping about her or taking joy in her current sit. you are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond messed up and Allah guide you and take pity on you, ameen) and people I think are mixing us, because we have been BFF for a long time, & because of what I said in relation to Aalia's current situation over at "Chasing Jannah." I am in a totally different situation than Aalia so please don't try and "guess" or be "suspicious" of what, lol, I didn't come to you and say? It's REALLY annoying. My life is going great, alhamdulilah, and it has been a challenge, and I've had to think about what is really important, ie what I need out of life and what makes a marriage and where to live ect, but those are normal things for any mature person. I am sorry I don't share much beyond my general spot on the globe. I used to blog alot and realized it had become a pressure, and alot of people wanted to know about my personal life. Those I am close with well even them I keep some things private from.

Some people were flat out mean. What they said wasn't true so I don't even have to mention it. You mixing people and places. LOL, some of the gossip was great. Now I will never watch Celeb gossip shows again. Of any kind. I feel bad for them. I no longer have a TV or a regularily accesible computer or a CD player and you know what, I am so happy LOL.

Anyways, the point of this post is to say, I have retired from major daily fashion posting. I still love fashion and hijab but don't have the energy to make sets and surf the net for pics. I said everything I believe is important to be said about hijab all the ways I could say it.

As for Islam, I studying Surah Al Baqarah right now, memorizing it in English and Arabic and studying the tasfeer around it. It takes me a whole day to memorize and understand 1 ayah? Well, lol, so what?! There aren't as many ayaat in Al Bakarah as there are days in the year so if I manage 1 a day in 1 year I'll have learnt quite alot. I would like to post on this all eventually. And finish writing a "Girl's Guide to Islam" but I am quite busy just living and being happy and being thankful to Allah for all that He subhanhu wa ta'ala has provided.

491 Unmoderated Comments, OH DEAR!!!!

Asalaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakto dearest sisters (and extroidinarily LOYAL followers):

I have been AWOL. I have 491 unmoderated comments! I don't know what to start with. I still don't have a computer so please forgive me, I don't like to go to internet cafes.

As for my personal life, I have settled quite nicely in Oman. I have a beautiful villa in a safe neighborhood (as opposed to before) and Y is coming in Ramadaan. Boxie will be back unless we marry her off.

I got offered a job in the abaya industry and in journalism here but for some reason where I am working right now just seemed more right. I am focussing less on dawah and more on educating myself (forgive all LOL, it is one of the blessings of being in the Gulf). But I still get to give dawah, ironically, to born Muslims.

I truly do love Oman. It is peaceful here.

A unique thing I have learnt about the country is the types of Islam practiced here. The main population of Oman practices Ibhadhi Islam, a small small minority are Shia (mainly in Mutrah area), and the Sunnis tend to be from Sur (Sharqiyah region). So I have had the oppurtunity to study Shia sources and Ibhadhi ones. I still hold fast to believing my readings in the Sunnah carry more weight and the basic principles of Shiaism to me are very wrong (also the history of the Saudi Royal Family makes me soooooo mad about what they practice as 'sunnah'). One of my friends who is shia got kicked in the head on hajj for using her clay stone. I of course think the use of the stone a bida but kicking someone ( a little girl of 8!!!!) in the head????? HOW IS THAT GOING TO CHANGE HER MIND? MAKE HER MINDLESS maybe... Grrrr.

Anyways, love Oman, will try to post more regularily. I have just taken a vacation from blogging. Please forgive!

Love always,
-Pixie

Modesty is More than Clothes

On this blog sisters have often criticized me for being "too judgemental" when I have written articles on the different aspects of hijab, and intentions for wearing hijab. One can look at posts such as "are the feet awrah" "is niqab mustahaab or wajib" or "cover your chest!" and be like, WHOA, THIS SISTA IS HARSH."

LOL, if only you knew me, he he he, I've never been one to point out a girl on the street and be like, "omigod does she think those leggings are jilbab"- "gadzooks, check out the makeup on that niqabi"- or yell "put some clothes on" to a non-muslim woman in an Arab country, though sometimes I admit, I do a double take. Cleavage with hijab distracts, as well as seeing butt cheeks go up and down in abaya, or fake eyelashes and plucked brows and glittery shadow with niqab. I just go, what is the point but... But to me judging or yelling at people or talking behind their backs---that's bad hijab too. Worse sometimes than another sister's mistake. Maybe when we are being harsh, it is because something is lacking in ourselves and the offensive is our defence?!!!!

No, what I have written, while filtered in my own personal leanings, is directed firstly to myself. it is directed to any woman like myself, who has a love of halal things like design and colour but who wants to hear what the sunnah says, what the examples in the seerah show us. When I am writing "Allah says this is best for us, or a must for us," or "this is what women of the sahaba wore because..." I am not saying any woman who doesn't understand or agree with that is bad or worse, subhanaAllah! LOL, okay, I guess it isn't really funny, but the way people read what we write and miss why we are writing us funny sometimes. Sometimes I get offended when people don't understand me, and I have to realize, hey, I do the same sometimes so be patient and wait, making the best excuses for it.

For me personally, I like hearing nasiha (Islamic advice) about hijab with daleel (evidence from the Qu'ran and Sunnah) from a sister in a non-embarrassing one-on-one conversation, where she's sweet and thoughtful about it. How else do we learn about Islam? I DO apologize, I can't do that online, really LOL. Anyways, then if I think the sister's advice to be wrong, and I disregard it, I prefer her not to nag me about it. If I disregard it and she thinks that's she's right, she should pray for my guidance from Allah. That's the way to do it in person. That is the Islamic way.

Of course, blogs like mine, since they generally aren't directed at any one person I believe it is entirely okay to post multiple hijab posts on a similar issue. It isn't nagging or picking on anybody. If one has a different opinion, they may blog about it on their blog, of course. It is sharing/storing information, even if it is for myself, or others seeking what I learnt after making some mistakes first LOL.

I have discovered that, sadly, in real life women that wear niqabs and gashwas can call down other women in the malls for wearing tight clothes with hijab or girls with no hijabs or Islam at all, but then, have worse hijab in actions and even in dress, on a different day.

When I see girls in ridiculously tight abayas or lack or khimar and jilbab, I don't think I am better than them, and I don't click my tongue at them an go "ayb". I don't know their intentions and the extent of their religious knowledge and the state of their imaan. I simply know that with my understanding my clothing might fulfill the requirements of the Qu'ran better than my skinny-jeans wearing sister in Islam, or my non-hijabi girlfriend. And while I know my clothing meets the requirements of the shariah and theirs does not, clothing alone does not equate modesty. My girl Hanoony has no headscarf but she is of a more modest strain than I am, and Boxie, who used to have a thing for her skinnies, now has simply abayaat than mine, and she doesn't wear make-up, and she doesn't talk as loud in public as I do.

So I know if we work to improve our knowledge about hiojab for ourselves, and our personalities, and we advise eachother in real-life instead of randomly pointing some chicas out in the mall, and pray for eachother' guidance, then the state of our imaan (faith) and the pressure we feel as women in Islam, will balance out. It may be hard, but it isn't that hard, lol.

Sorry I haven't written in a long time. I just haven't been into fashion (strange, I know!). I've had some personal issues and still no internet source. Forgive me those of you who have been loyal readers and forgive me also those of you who think of me as a know-it-all. Serriously, if I've offended you in the past, ever, I extend an invitation- if you're ever in Muscat, Oman I'll pay for tea or coffee and show you the woman between the lines of the blog and make ammends by being by being other than what I am able to communicate in type.

May Allah guide us all, and keep us on the straight path, ameen.

Update

Salaam alaykom everyone! So sorry I haven't been blogging. My life has been a whirlwind of adventures, misadventures, lol, and private things, also, I haven't had internet. I want you to know I am safe, and happy, and will start blogging in a few months. So please forgive the lack of updates. I wish you a happy belated Eid, and the best imaan and health for you and your families.

Hirjah

a poem about a short experience in UAE

HIRJAH

Skin so pale
Why the veil?
A choice that I make
Not to break
Ties with my ancestors
Forebears of these shores.
Go back to your country!
What kind of effrontery
Is this attack on ethnicity
What kind of duplicity
A mere headscarf?
Worn around the neck
Like Alek Wek
On a catwalk?
So different from my walk?

So I make hirjah
No more ninja "hi ya!"
"Is it halloween yet?"
Or "nigger", I'll never forget
But what for?
To stand on foreign shore
Men, hunting, predator---
The jahililiya before---
Almost more pure.
I watch you drink in Shaytaan
On your desert lawn
As if your demons were sweeter than melon.
And Virtue is a disrespectful felon.
I recklessly laugh: Go learn Islam?!
Hypocrite, am I dressed for ayaat or pslam?

Where is Shariah?
My people taunt, make "Hirjah"
But they are more my people
Minuret or steeple
For at least there Muslim men are men
Mohammed, Chad and Ben.
They don't hide behind their flags
From the Will of God. Who nags
Come to prayer
You "Muslim" "player"
While you bother young girls.
Mustang twirls.
Music bleats vainly.
Thobe and ghutra I have witnessed plainly.
Here is a Muslim land, they play the adhan.

But when is the echo answered?
I have made my hirjah.
Toured your Masjids and your malls.

I have yet to see a Muslim man.

For Now....

Back at "said" skeezy internet cafe (not the skeeziest to be had apparently). Due to some drama in a week and a day or so I will be in Oman (inshaAllah). Make dua for me. It'll be interesting. Plus, from there we will finally start taking orders for abayaat. That we will ship to ya'll the best way possible. So... until I get set up in my home, we will wait and see....

Love Pixie

Pure Pixie: here and in Canada +niqab of course!

Everything in this collage I really own except for the patent heels---those are flats in my day to day as I walk a few kilometers every night and every morning. The abaya with ruched satin sleeves is from http://www.sunnahstyle.com/product_info.php?pName=ruched-satin-sleeved-butterfly-abaya&cName=abayas-butterfly for $49.99 USD and it is soooooo easy to wear. I like to wear maxi dresses or coloured jeans (grey, pink, purple, green and yellow). I have a crummy scratched up pink motorolla cellohone and white rimmed sunglasses, and always keep my earrings on the big and dangling side under my hijab. I just bought this Betsey Johnson purse today (for about a quarter of its current retail value) and a matching pink keffiyah ($10.00 bucks that CAD). My beauty regime: I like mousse concealer in ivory, chocolate scented shampoo, pink eye shadow, sometimes an eyebrow pencil and that is it for day. Not the most awesome outfit, but something I like and am comfy in.

Dear Random Anonymous Islam-hating blog stalker

Dear Random Anonymous Islam-hating blog stalker:

For your comment "Stop Oppression Against Women" ...I do. You wrote "hahahahah respect?you get respect from men by covering yourself up? this is insane, do you believe it yourself? i hope not.don't you understand what you are doing? you are supporting oppression against women! men tell women to cover themselves up to gain respect. and you believe in it..lame." Well Anon, I gew up not covering and now I do cover, and non muslim men DO give me more respect so I feel my point is proven ALREADY. If you have doubts and you are an attractive young woman, find a pretty pink headscarf and a plain comfy black shoulder abaya, and wear it at your work for a month. You'll see a difference in the way the men treat you. You won't need any other proof. But even beyond that, I LIKE what I am wearing. I could says that sunglasses are more uncomfortable for me than a face veil, that skinny jeans are waaaay more misognynist than an abaya, and that high heels are DEFINATELY more uncomfortable and suppressive of a woman's ability to do sports or accomplish things than a headscarf. I like my clothes. Get over it. If I wasn't a Muslim and I told you the same thing (because I dressed this way BEFORE I was Muslim too because I found I liked it) would you believe it? Ask ex pat women living in Dubai? Most of them try out the charm and ease of abaya once in a while. I personally dress in a way that I want to---I feel pretty, modest, and comfortable in my clothes, no one forces me to wear them, and I do not force others. I do not support laws enforcing hijab. Hijab is a personal thing, between a woman and God, her Creator. If you don't believe in God, well then my blog probably isn't for you, but you have to understand all Muslims believe the Qu'ran is directly from God, and that books like the Bible and Torah are also sources (though we believe the Qu'ran is the only direct and uncorrupted source).


"Yeah girls are so pretty when men tell them what to wear. Independent girls are ugly Oppressed women are cute. " Personally anon, I go by the dictionary definition of suppressed, which is, those who have no choice are suppressed. Honestly I think alot of the girls forced to wear blue Afghan chadors with mesh (aka the burqa) were suppressed and I feel sad for them. Nothing in Islam ENFORCES hijab. So Taliban hijab style is waaaaaaay wrong. But a woman that chooses to wear a niqab and an abaya from her own beliefs and does so in a way I find pretty, 'course I'm gonna say her style is cute. But some sad looking singer rubbing her half-naked body on a bunch of dancers in a music video to sell more CDS when her own talent is enough to, I am going to say that is a kind of suppression too. It is like Elizabeth Taylor. Everyone loved her when she was young and beautiful and now she is overweight and in a wheel chair and that same media that loved her makes jokes about her??? Being enslaved to youth, form, and beauty is another kind of suppression, one hijab (from one's own choice and conviction) frees you from.

You commented "It is said in the qoran that a woman shall never get attention with jewelleries and make up. So why are you wearing islamic oppression-sheets when you are not muslims- apparently?" Why do you care for details and decoration when you are told to cover yourself up with blankets?It is said in the qoran that you shall not ask for attention. Then do not and be a woman." Um, anon, do you mean abayas??? If you've even worn one, you'll know they are as comfortable as pajamas, and not opressive at all. That's why so many ex-pat women in the Gulf are happy to wear them, running errands, under no compulsion, and not even for any religious reason. As for wearing jewelry and make-up and designs on clothing, nowhere in the Q'uran does it tell us not to do anything of things you claim it forbids in another one of your awesomely educated. Women in the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu alahi wa salaam's time used to wear makeup in the form of henna and kohl (both of which he encouraged), he also complimented a woman for the pretty but simple designs on her garment which shows that some design is OBVIOUSLY allowed in Islam, and jewelry? Women in Islam are allowed to wear gold and men are not. Women in the early days of Islam wore anklets that made alot of noise and attracted some sensual attention when the women danced or stamped their feet with the purpose of attracting that attention. The Q'uran commanded those women not to stamp their feet, it never forbid them from wearing jewelry. Educate yourself darling, please, because you come across as ignorant, hateful, and still wanting to do good for women at the same time.

Am I a savage? You are thinking like men of the old world did with the native Americans when they discovered the New world. That you need to SAVE me, by taking away my way of life, my freedom to believe in peace. I don't need you or anyone else to think for me or rescue me. I am not suppressed/repressed/ OR oppressed. In Islam sexuality is for a time and place where it is protected, A STABLE AND MATURE LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE BOTH LEGALLY PROTECTED (financially and logically) THAT BOTH PARTIES AGREE TO AND OUTLINE THE DETAILS THEREOF.

To your question "do you dress modest at home or flaunt about in an evening dress?" If I am by myself and just want to play dress up, or it is a special occasion with close women friends who won't feel any emotion but pride in my apearence praising Allah for my sake, or I want to look nice for my family who will also be happy if I look beautiful and can afford nice things, then I will wear an evening dress, or jeans and a tshirt, OR pajamas, or a modest jalabiyia. It is up to me. Islam is not a religion that says do something, such as feign piety or change everything you are, for no reason. Allah Himself has said, that He is beautiful and loves beauty. What God doesn't love is the kind of human pride that is to make other human beings feel less of themselves. No man or woman that feels even a dust grain's weight of this kind of belittling pride will enter paradise (aka heaven). If there unrelated men present, I'll wear hijab---of course, or if there are those women who will feel less because of something I can physically wear because of an attractive physical attribute or financial means that they could never attain, I will dress in a way that we are equal sisters.

Part of the Islamic dress code is that it promotes a brotherhood and sisterhood that marks men and women equal but for their piety and good deeds. We are also supposed to be obviously recognizable as Muslims, not resembling pagans, Jews, and Christians, which is, women cover their chests with the headscarf, and wear an overgarment over their regular clothes while not trying to get male attention by wearing over-the-top makeup and tight clothing or jingling their jewelry or strong perfumes, and men wear loose fitting clothing that covers their belly-button to thighs and best the shoulders and have beards at LEAST a fist length long and do not wear gold or silk or anything that shows financial and social status in public (that can nowadays include flaunting fancy cars and gold pens and rolexs---remember, the Prophet sallalalhu alahi wa salaam, when as Caliph, he could have ridden the finest horses of the Arabs, he rode a donkey).

Keeping Things Interesting and a min rant

Salaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakto all:

So we've been having some internet troubles---i.e we have no internet, neither Boxie or Aalia or me, so I have gone to this skeezy smoky internet cafe in a rat infested mall (not one of the hip Abu Dhabi ones I assure you---here there are a bunch of Emirati creepers skipping school with boushiya'ed bad girls (when they can afford to date the bad girls lol)) soooooo, sorry for the lack of cool posts, or me replying to comments, or even posting comments in the moderation section.

Other than lack of internet, there's been some interesting things. I have learned that alot of (local) girls here wear abaya inappropriately, open, with tights, super high heels, skinny jeans, or even mini skirts and cleavage and belly-button bearing tops underneath. The shayla can consist of the pouf clip and the shayla just draped there, neck and hair showing. Or the girls wear stylish abayas and gashwas that conceal everything but then lift the gashwa at cute local (Emirati) guys and give out phone numbers. Um, a hijab don't ladies. And all this just kinda makes one go, the hijab is better at my local Canadian masjid, and some of the sisters don't even wear the headscarf. I DO belive jilbab and khimar is fard, and that face covering is mustahaab (yaaaay I am a full-time niqabi now!!!!!), but here, the existance of abaya, sheila, and niqab can still mean that hijab is lacking in intention and adab.

For instance, near Al Marina Mall last night, walking home from the Emirati Heritage Center, Aalia, Boxie, baby, and me, saw a set of two prostitutes, one was Iranian, and the other was Sudanese. We know because we asked. The Iranian working girl wore open abayas with jeans and heel underneath. Her bangs her styled neatly out. The Sudanese prostitute wore a closed but somewhat fitted abaya and hijab that covered all her hair, but her sleeves were pushed up to reveal alot of bracelets. They looked stylish, I suppose, with a few tweaks here and there, they could have been very modestly attired women. But their intention was to stroll up and down the somewhat secluded beach front near the marina, while their pimp in the red vehichle (her "brother" and his friends) watched and spoke to the local Emirati creepers who made loops around the area. Groooooooooooooosssss!!!!!

And I won't even go into some of the non-Emirati hijab fashion in the malls. I have seen less camel-toes and butt cheeks in Canadain malls on non-muslims without scarfs on their heads!!!!!!

Of course, alhamdulilah, there alot of women, mashaAllah, Syrian, Lebanese, Morrocan, and Emirati, with great hijab, and great style, that still adhere to the shariah, and alot of niqabis with good adab, alhamdulilah. I just get mad at those who abuse the dress of a Muslim woman, the dress of the Prophet's wives and the women of the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) and make a mockery of it, leading our non-hijabi Muslim sisters to say, why bother with hijab?

My New Shaylas

This one is from Abu Haleeqa and was waaaay over-priced but I fell for the cute kiwi and ruffles (which didn't photograph well) and splurged.
And this one is from Al Gwatwa (think I am spelling it right) and I love it cuz of the lace. It was affordable.

WE'VE ARRIVED

Alhamdulilah, today I woke up hearing the fajr the adhan. Boxie (see her blog here and go to her profile for her travel diary http://and4somethingdifferent.blogspot.com/) and I have been here a few days now (since the 21st) and I LOOOOOOOVE the adhan so much. But ya'll already know that. For those of you that didn't (until now) hearing the adhan is what led me to Islam.

We are staying with our girl Aalia (from her blog Chasing Jannah). She met us at the airport stylishly attired, in a (stylishly tailored but not-too-tight) plain black front-opening abaya from "First Lady", a flash of a pink satin skirt at the ankles appearing with every kick of her foot's step. Gashwa down over her eyes and the corner of her pink satin trimmed shayla styled to hang down the back gracefully down from the pouf of the gashwa. She got my text from the plane saying that we'd be late and wanted to know why...

to read the rest of the story, follow this link http://desertdiaryuae09.blogspot.com/2009/09/weve-arrived.html

What is going on now?

Since I am moving to the Gulf, I started a little travel journal called "My Desert Diary-Pixie Addition" (he he he, Aalia), which Aalia can totally amalgomate into her own after we come back to Canada (when our trip is done I'll delete it). If you click on my profile it is there under my blog links. Boxie started one too. I am too lazy to post the link, since it is there under my profile. I also decided, since the shortage of posts, to start posting all the Khaleeji related posts from BM. Hope you like!

WHY I haven't been posting

For those have you who have been following ILOVEHISHMA, you'll know that its author, Pixie, has been overloaded with packing for her move to UAE (short-term), switching flats back in Canada, and planning her (aka mine) Canadian civil service wedding (along with attending iftars and studying Islam during Ramadan). Soooo, I am glad to announce, alhamdulilah, the civil service is done, and I am officially lawfully married. These are some of the pictures from our special day. DO NOT RE-POST THEM ANYWHERE ON THE NET WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! Grrrr, lol. So, I sewed my own dress (it cost a total of $30.00 CAD but took over sixteen hours to make). Its a bit old fashioned and has a vinatgey feel to it. I hand beaded smoky topaz coloured swarowski crystals and seed-pearls on the lace applique, made my own veil out of tulle and silk and a vintage necklace, and borrowed Boxie's lacy embroidered hijab from Kuwait.I also gained ten lbs (alhamdulilah cuz I was a bit too underweight for a while and was starting to look like a prepubescent boy) before cutting the dress, so it was a little more modest when I began (since I didn't have curves lol) so if I had it to do over, I would loosen the waist seems and cut the belt, but since it was women and my family mainly, it wasn't really any big deal. But Boxie had fun doing me up and pulled a muscle (my Dad had to help lol). My sister Jane wore a Tiffany-box blue dress and pearls, and Boxie (I'll post a pic maybe later) wore hat hijab and looked oh-so fine in purple. My Daddy wore a tie for the first time since his own wedding way back, and the guests were a mix of formal and informal. LOL, one of the couples who attended were the owners of the school where my husband and I met, and they had brought a guest from Taiwan to show her a "traditional" Canadian wedding, and we all joked that she'd be rather confused because my wedding included, suit and tie, jeans and a t-shirt, thobe, salwar kameez, hijab, and white wedding dress, lol.

Explaining Canadian traditions (like smooshing cake into the face of the groom) to one Saudi sister, made her (and Y) quite horrified. Needless to say I left off on the cake smooshing. Mainly since my wedding cake was ice cream cake. That'd be a bit cruel. But I had fun, mainly taking pics before the getting together of everyone. Preparing the food in full formal wear was a bit stressful though. And the groom forgetting the marriage liscence and having to drive an hour into the city to go get it lol. ANNNNND the wedding cake melting because of this, so it had to be served up in one big bowl, lol. Icecream cakes do not make good wedding cakes ya'll, lol, even if they are yummy, he he he. So inshaAllah your Ramadan is going well, and I hope to write more soon inshaAllah.

Mid Ramadaan Post

Salaam alaykom ramatullah wa barakto. InshaAllah all of you are having a peaceful and rewarding Ramadaan. I know I am. As such, I haven't been on the blog or replying to comments all that much so unless I do an Islamic study on my own time that you ladies might be interested in too, the only thing I'll be posting this month are things (such as fashion sets) I have already saved on the laptop. Mainly to clear it off, because after this Eid I'll be off to the Gulf with a new lap top (and my girls) where we hope to do alot more street style, lol. So hope you don't mind. I will get through going through comments at the end of Ramdaan, inshaAllah. Thank you for taking the time to make them!

As salaam alaykom ramatullah wa barakato sisters!

InshaAllah Ramadaan approaches and for most of us it is a mere matter of one or two days. InshaAllah if you have clear skies, try and go by when the moon is sighted by your local masjids. If there are no local masjids to go by, try and watch the news or find the closest Masjid or city on a look out of the web. I believe, should we see the moon hear, or in Vancouver, ect... Ramadaan should start Thursday or this friday.

InshaAllah we can all be worthy of the blessings of this month of mercy. I am so excited. Just letting everyone know, um, something is up with my computer which is making its internet usage kinda hazardous. It is freezing and randomly shutting down alot, so I am gonna try and get my husband to fix it when he time.

Islamic Cultural Festival

Hey, sorry for not getting back to anyone, finishing half-finished posts, or getting back to the comments with questions in them, but I got distracted by the Islamic Cultural Festival that we went to on the weekend:

Yeah, it was alot of cultural (the Saudis had a HUGE section), with dances and stuff (Indonesian little girls, Saudi men from different provinces) but there was Qu'ran recitation, and alot of dawah materials, henna, and a calligraphy/henna area. My purse weighed sooooooo much with the free Qu'rans in different languages. The husband and I always end up with lots of converts/reverts or people inquiring about Islam so I took the oppurtunity to stock up on some dawah materials. MashaAllah the dawah committty managed to help me get a brother and sister a Chinese translation of the Qu'ran, and the only one they were short on was Spanish. Which I needed but... hey. But I forgot to grab a Korean one. So at least I got the group's email so I can order one for one woman asking in the Masjid who has trouble following the arabic/english khutbah.

What I ABSOLUTELY LOVED is that whenever the Qu'ran was recited the clouds did part and it was sunny. Serriously. Ask anyone that was there, subhanAllah. I also found it hilarious that just before the dancers from Saudi were about to preform their tribal dances (they had Mekkah and Medina with their stick dance with a video available here
, the interior represented with a very dull sword waving dance, and the South with a very enthusiastic jumping hand-waving dance [this is my husband's and it always makes me laugh but it isn't that elegant] , a dog walked by homeless people decided to urinate on their preformance place. They announced to the crowd that they were having technical difficulties until a brother bought a water bottle and poured it over the cement:D. Yeah, hear a dog bark and watch a predominately Muslim crowd freak out:D

They had henna to draw in people, and snakes you could hold, and lots of little booths to tell you about different Islamic countries. We spent about four hours there, and then went out for lunch after dhuhr. We happened to run into a sister we had lost contact with, and alhamdulilah she is well. I was also happy to see the brothers dressed in their Islamic clothing. I wish the ones from my city did not feel they had to take it off, returning on the ferry. To all the brothers out there, I am proud of you for your thobes and your beards and your long tunic shirts, and your loose pants, and your kufis. We are supposed to dress as believers and that is not just the women, so mashaAllah to the brothers that came out visibly as Muslim men. You made me proud to wear my niqab:p

For more on the Van. festival, check out their webpage http://www.cice.ca/location.html.

MY MUSLIMAH: moments

I had always considered Canadians very well informed about other cultures: until I, a Canadian, went overseas.

On my return I had a suitcase of souvenirs. I dressed up my friends in hijab and niqab and burqa and abaya and Omani hats and robes complete with curved khanjars and we posed for pictures and none of it touched me... I had heard the Azan and it was in the back of my head as the most beautiful sound I had ever heard...but it was in the back of my head as another language... words I could not understand.

The hijab was a cashmere pashmina that made me sweaty that I wore only to show off my pretty caftans when I was in Oman, and to visit the grand mosque there, until a friend here told me that someone had called him "a sand nigger". I didn't know how to wear a scarf but I immediately wrapped that bulky pashmina around my head until it choked me and I wore it to work the next day. A cab driver, who worked with Muslims, said "salaam alaykom". My manager told me to take it off.

It was "a safety hazard"--- it could "get caught on something". I looked around me. One girl wore a bandana on her head, another guy a baseball cap. One guy called my arab friend "a terrorist" when we discussed the subject. I would put the hijab back on whenever the manager wasn't there. I would put it on when I left work. I would take it off when I walked home. One day, my manager, R, he caught me wearing it again. He knew that an Arab student I knew from school wanted to win me over (as this particlar Arab was quite good looking and it was all the silly girls at my work could talk about) so in front of everyone he said: "You know a muslim man can beat his wife and can have sex with her whenever he wants to." I nodded but was too shamed to explain to him everything that I did know. R was Jewish and a soldier in Israel a long time ago, so I understood his prejudice (and everyone- one of my best friends in the world who taught me the most about prejudice was a Jewish girl I'd die for---so don't post any Jew dissing comments here). He talked to me later, but I still put in my notice. I didn't want to work for a place that would not allow a hijab but would allow a baseball cap or bandana. I couldn't.

Hijab has taught me alot about Islam. It is one of the reasons I read the Qu'ran with a heart for understanding. It has taught me that race doesn't matter, physical form is not the most important thing (I know alot of girls who lose weight when they start to wear proper hijab because they are no longer stressing about an ideal body image and they look more to their families than their peers for emotional support so develop more vivid goals for themselves, and pursue the creative facets of themselves that more adolescent girls are losing every day, sadly). Wearing it means I can no longer go out clubbing with girlfriends---as thin a peice of fabric as it has been, it has been strainer through which I have sifted my personal relationships: I have learnt those who have loved me for me, and those who only loved me because of what I could do for them. Friends that missed the drinking party me may have abandoned me for the next buzz, the next high, the next handsome stranger, but I have gained the knowledge of friends who get high on my presence, on my ideas, on my private non-alcholic crazy Africano township jive wannabe belly dancer Canadian dancing. I also get a gift not many white girls with white skin get: I get to know who is really prejudiced and who is not, something that can take years of knowing someone in our politcally correct environment, I can know in minutes.

There are good times. There are bad: There is the man on Halloween who saw me in my abaya and asked me to sing O Canada, and when I did, commented "Good, it's just a costume"-or the women seeing me pushing a baby stroller who whisper very loudly "She's too young be married off to make babies" when there is a teen mother with no head scarf sitting next to me, with no wedding ring who they do not want to do anything to help obviously fifteen -the woman who challeged me "to live my life" when she sees me wearing a niqab and reading Hirsi Ali's "Infidel" in Chapters... There are also the amazing: the homeless man across from my house who defended me when a man was harassing me about my abaya with the words "Leave her alone-she's a middle-eastern Audrey Hepburn!" (so sweet, and when does being compared to Audrey Hepburn NOT make you feel good???)- the women that tell me my hijab looks beautiful- the little girl who wants her picture taken with me at my work because she thinks I'm a princess in my abaya and shayla- the fact that construction workers who normally whistle at women walking by fall silent at the sight of my niqab and I hear them say "she is still beautiful... A real lady." When I walk to Juma (I usually don't wear niqab but if I wanna wear sparkly earring to Juma I wear a niqab over them so that all the Muslim boys outside will be as silent as those construction workers)- the people who honestly want to know why I became I muslim (they are worth it all)... My personal favorites are though, of course, those moments that make me laugh: the man that asked me straight-faced if I was a ninja (hiiii-yahhh!-when I was in karate they called me the ballerina so you can see why this far-fetched country boy made me laugh), and this sweet little old lady client of mine. She came up to the counter, and gently patted my sleeve. It was hot out so I was wearing my lightest hijab, a white cotton pashmina, and she patted my arm so that I would lean close to hear what she had to say. "Dear," she said to me. "You really should be at home. You shouldn't be working." I was confused. "I feel fine," I told her. "I want to work." I said this, because some people have this prejudice that muslim women aren't allowed to work, and their husbands force them to stay at home. LOL. That was not her point though. Honestly concerned about health as most seniors are she said: "You shouldn't be working with a head injury." LOL. Isn't that the sweetest, funniest thing?

Share your funny hijab moments here, please.

another abaya i love

Abaya Saudi for 44.95 euros. I'd wear it with those cute pink flats from forver21.com (they're 14.00 $ USD).

I'd just like to add, when I do fashion sets, I am not rich. I do not buy all the things I post nor do I promote excessive materialism. I love the art of fashion, but in my daily life I wear things that are practical. My abayas often come from ebay for $25.00-35.00 and when I need one I will splurge on a nice abaya but often don't spend over $80.00 CAD (this is sort of a once a year splurge for me). It IS important to me though to buy something with quality fabric and sometimes it IS worth it to buy a hundred dollar abaya that will last you five years, rather than a cheap one that will only last a year, and of that year you won't like to wear it more than a couple of times every few weeks. Instead, I like to personalize my own abayas by sewing and beading them, and the same abaya often gets redesigned with ribbon a couple of times a year. While I would love to be rich enough to afford everything on this site and still be able to give sadaqah enough triples times that ammount, I can't so... (I do think it'd be okay to have all this stuff if you gave away three times it but you really wouldn't need all this much would you?:D). It is just fun for me to do, and the links are useful for other sisters who need to buy a garment. I actually have a favourite abaya I found in a used store. And all my fabulous jalibiyias are hand beaded (they weren't so fabulous and I bought them for ten bucks each from an Egyptian street vendor---else I sewed them by cutting up a salwar kameez and dupata and sewing it to a granny dress from a used store:D). My grandmother was a very elegant lady during world war II and even though she had no money she taught me that she could make the same suit last four seasons by changing the ribbon trim on it, or the cuffs, or wearing a new scarf or hat with it:D That is very much my hijab style. Same abaya but new look. An abaya I had that was trimmed with coins, got redesigneed with lace, and now it is currently beaded with crystal and keffiyah fabric. It has had four lives. It is getting nigh see-through from being worn out, but no one could guess it:D

I want sisters who need jilbabs, khimars, and niqabs to know what options they have, and making fashion sets for me is fun. I don't buy everything I post, and I know that sites are reliable to order from because I ordered something from them or know sister IRL (in real life) that have. I don't want sisters to get scammed, nor to waste a tonne of time trying to find things online. I want them (if they do have a need for something) to know where they can find it, ect., what sites are good to order from, and what things can look good together. What might be perfectly modest for me in accessory choices might not be for someone else, so when I show makeup or high heels or things to be worn under the abaya, please, use common sense. I don't wear nail polish unless it is that time of the month but sometimes I show it in my sets because it fills out the composition nicer. I am not advocating sisters compromise their ability to make wudu with ease. I personally have stopped wearing heels over two inches even though I can walk in them silently because I have an opinion on the matter based on my research. I still show high heels in my sets, because I do wear them at women only parties and at home with my husband (when I am cooking because my kitchen floor is cold):D Use common sense, and please use the links how you'd like. The post is meant to showcase a jilbab and hijab or jilbab and niqab so that you find two items that match, or it is to give a tip of something that might be worn over the jilbab to give it a new look for an occasion, like work or play. Islam is about balance. Balance modesty and style. Balance practicality with expense. Have fun but always remember those in need. That's all I can think of right now.
Love Pix

when i first started wearing hijab, and what i wish i would have known then

I remember the day I decided I was a Muslim (my parents and family are disbelievers---one Agnostic/almost atheist---one-not-practicing-the-word-person-of-the-book---and one spell-casting pagan Wiccan [ironic that the pagan was the most supportive of my conversion/reversion). I had always believed in the five pillars of Islam, but it was time for me to start obeying the Qu'ran and the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.).

The thing I started with was wearing hijab because that was the only thing I knew anything about. I knew Muslims had to pray five times a day (and I did that), but I didn't know that there was a way to do that (I didn't know to say Al Fatihah or make ruku ect. and I didn't have a book or computer yet with which to look that up) but I did know (from a trip in the Gulf and having known African Muslim women) that a Muslim women should wear a headscarf that some call "hijab" when she left her home or went out among those who she could never be certain of their intentions towards her.

Wa qul li al-mu'minat yaghdudna min absarihinna wa yahfazna furujahunna wa laa yubdina zenatahunna illa maa zahara min haa wal-yadribna bi khumurihinna ala juyubihinna; wa laa yubdina zenatahunna illa li bu'ulatihinna aw aba'ihinna aw aba'i bu'ulatihinna aw abna'ihinna aw abna'i bu'ulatihinna aw ikhwanihinna aw bani ikhwanihinna aw bani akhawatihinna aw nisa'ihinna aw maa malakat aymanu hunna aw at-tabi'ina ghayri ulu'l-irbat min ar-rijal aw at-tifl alladhina lam yazharu ala awrat an-nisa wa laa yadribna bi arjulihinna li yu'lama maa yukhfina min zenatahinna. Wa tubu ilaAllahi jami'an, ayyuha al-mu'minun la'allakum tuflihun (Surah an-Nur, ayah 31)

A translation of this is:
And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their adornment except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to God together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful

I knew she should do it, because the Qu'ran said "pull your headress [khimar] so that it covers your chest [jube]". It was quite clear to me then (when I was a person who ignorantly said I believe in the Qu'ran but not the ahadith), as it remains even clearer to me now, that covering one's hair, neck, ears, AND chest are compelled in this verse. I still don't understand how some can try and say, that this was just a historical way of getting believing women not to show cleavage. Women at this time period DID cover their hair (so commanding this a second time would have been unnecessary as it was already as obvious to these women as it was to me and many others upon first reading). During this time period when Surah an-Nur was revealed, women were already compelled by revelations in the Jewish and Christian scriptures to cover their hair. Since I was fostered a few months out of the year, by a practicing family of the book, I know the commandments in the Bible very well in memory: But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. Corinthians 11:4-16 (King James Version) So the only thing the Muslim women were asked to do in addition to their covering of their heads and hair, was to pull their headresses (which is what the word khimar means) to cover in addition, also their chests, and thus necks. If the Qu'ran wanted to say "cover your chest" instead of covering your chest while covering also covering what you already cover, it would have said, add another button, or where such and such a garment/dress/caftan/blouse that it covers such and such a part. Also, the women that say the headscarf is not necessary usually contradict themselves by covering their hair when in prayer because a hadith narrated by Aisha (R.A) makes it even clearer that one must do so: The Prophet (SAW) said, "The Salat of a woman, who has reached puberty, is not accepted unless she is wearing a Khimar." (Sahih - Al-Khamsa except An-Nasaa’ee) Studying the hadith, I have found numerous narrations describing what women of the sahaba wore, and going out of the home, it inlcuded the headcovering. Now that I know more about hijab, I know that wearing tight clothing is actually worse than not wearing a headscarf, and now that I have studied the subject of hijab in depth, I am aware that a headscarf was not the first and most important object of dress that a woman was required to do as an obligation to her Creator. A modest overgarment (jilbab) was actually required of women of the Sahaba, before correcting how they wore their headresses. This is because the ayah regarding jilbab was revealed BEFORE the one concerning khimar/hijab. But that is simply something I didn't know when I first made my shahada.
So when I set about trying to first wear hijab, I had no long sleeves, so I bought a white cotton button-up blouse (not tunic length but average), and a few pashminas. I also bought a couple of sheath dresses, which I layered overtop of my trousers and then wore hijab with. Alhahamdulilah, I was always spot on with wearing the khimar (I have decided not to call it hijab on this site from now on, because hijab is the entire aura of modesty a Muslim woman embodies not just her headscarf and so the term is sooooooooo often misused) so that it covered my chest, but the rest of the outfit was too tight. Sometimes, you could see the indent of my hips, or the curve of my butt. Ladies, LOL, in the words of Baba Ali, that's not hijab! Plus, this was soooooooo hot. Eventially I found looser dresses, but the pants were still too curvalicious. The shape of even my calves showing didn't seem like proper hijab. I started wearing a long skirt, and layering a long coat over my shirts, and that was aLOT more modest and Islamic, but the fact was, while I was wearing an overgarment on my top with a trench coat or long tunic here and there, I still wasn't wearing an overgarment since the coat wasn't covering all my skirt. If I had worn something under the skirt, I think it would have been fine, and would have met all the requirement of hijab, but it would have been waaaaaaaaaaaaay too hot. So I started wearing abaya, or maxi dresses and long tunic/or coat as a jilbab, and that DID meet all the Islamic obligations of the Qu'ran, and it was alot less hot as well. I personally do not think pants can count as Islamic hijab unless they are loose enough to wear baggy shorts or a mini-skirt underneath of (which, I do admit I have started to see from emerging designers) because unless they can be worn as an overgarment, they don't count as hijab. This goes for way too tight abayas as well. If I can see your hips and butt that abaya ain't jilbab baby girl. If you have cut outs in the dress, or it is see-through, you better be wearing something just as modest underneath of that, or, IT AIN'T HIJAB.

Hijab is a religious obligation to Allah (S.W.T). It should not be enforced by a government, a religious institution, or culture, because it is indeed a choice that one only owes out of respect for themselves, and thus respect for their Creator. The only one that will judge anyone on the subject will be Allah (S.W.T), but this blog will outline (along with style:D) what Allah (S.W.T) HAS set down as mandatory for the Muslim woman who respects herself (and so shows her respect for her Creator). It is more than a headscarf, but also modesty of action and intention. If you are a Muslim new to practicing Islam, always wear non-see through clothes, and a headcovering when you pray, and try to get an Islamic wardrobe as soon as you afford to. On top of that though I will add, in order to cover your skin, don't worry about your sleeves touching the elbows ect if it means wearing tight clothes. Try to wear looser clothing first as you gradually incorporate more coverage into your wardrobe as you have the means too. It is better to go out in public in clothing that is modest in your culture rather than supertight but all skin covered and with hijab-hijab. When I first coverted/reverted, rather than wearing an oxford, trousers, and booty-hugging pencil skirt over my trousers with hijab, I should have not worried so much about slapping that headscarf on, but should have kept wearing my rather modest sleeveless dresses from Africa, and layered a three-quarter sleeve cardi over it (and probably no hijab--since I couldn't even know all the requirements of hijab or explain to others about them I wasn't necessarily ready to get reward for my khimar). Better loose and practically all covered, than all covered but the shape of the body entirely apparent, making the headscarf seem instead ironic, rather than pious. For those who live in a predominately Muslim country--you have NO idea how lucky you are with what is readily available to you.