pic from Abaya Chic's blog http://abayachic.blogspot.com/2009/03/weird-muslim-dating-ads.html WHAT the heck?! HOT, SEXY MUSLIMAH looking for... marriage? Yes, the topic of today is... ONLINE DATING---Muslim Matchmaking Sites. Yay!
I bet you all wanna know what I think about these. I have good opinions. But we'll do the bad first.
ACTUAL QUESTIONS TAKEN FROM A FEW ONLINE DATING SITES
Do you drink... answer (yes) (sometimes) (socially) (never).
Um, it BETTER be never. What is that question even DOING THERE! Muslims don't drink! And if they do, we shouldn't be marrying them.
What colour is your hair?
Uh... okay... why doesn't it have a "I'd rather not say option"... like men do, when it asks if they have a beard or not. Didn't I select [female] instead of [male] as my gender? That's why I don't have the beard question with the, "I refrain from publishing that option", but I, the Muslim woman, who wears the hijab ON MY HEAD, have to tell you what colour my hair is, and the whole WORLD CAN SEE it, litterally, if not physically?! Um, I don't think so. So I selected blonde as my hair colour:P. Cuz you know, the question is stupid, and my real hair is black, take that rude online sign up profiles!
What colour is your skin?
Why in hell should that matter when you get married to someone? What a racist site. But they are ALL like this. And you don't get to hide ANY of this information. I chose white. I also said I was five foot one, petite, age 20, virgin, never married, Muslim for two months, wears niqab. I basically made myself seem as naive and helpless as I could to see what weirdos would try and take advantage of that:P
So I made up my fake profile so I could write about my results. One sister used to do this keep track of online perverts and bad profiles. So I gave it a twirl the way she used to wing it. Blonde naive and impressionable pretty young revert who knows very little about her religion makes a VERY good peice of bait... LOL---even without a picture (which I would NEVER put up on one of those sites---a good Muslim man will only need your pic AFTER he's agreed to marry you just BEFORE the nikah).
Anyways, I got alot of chat pop ups with brothers requesting to chat. Some were straight out pervs. I realized that generally any guy that requested to chat outside of the online space provided by the matchmaking site, were interested in chatting to girls (or straight out pervs) not really guys looking for marriage. So say no to giving out your MSN, or email, or telephone number ladies. Tell them you aren't on the site to chat, you are there to find a good Muslim man with the soul intention of marriage. Also, any guy that requests you send him your picture, don't. Say you don't feel comfortable doing so online, but if he is serrious about marriage, you will let him meet with you in person (supervised setting with an arrange wali) before the actual nikah. A good Muslim brother will deal with you islamically, and not ask for things outside the purpose of finding out if you two are right for marriage within the shariah.
Ask him why he wants to get married, and check out his profile before you accept him as a contact and respond to his messages. See if he is already married, what he's looking for in marriage and question him accordingly. If you don't like his reason for getting married, ditch him. Lots of men have stupid selfish reasons for getting married. The same goes for brothers. There are some lazy gold-diggers out there who just want a free meal ticket, and these sisters might wear niqab (but only so they don't have to work) but they don't pray five times a day. Find out what he wants/expects from marriage. Outline the same for yourself. Don't tolerate less than that. You'll lose or reject the creepers here.
Then question his deen. What he thinks about partitions/multiple wives/hijab for men and hijab for women/ tauhid/ family/ kids/ where you'll live, what you'll do...Touchy subjects will reveal what kind of Muslim he is... And if he doesn't ask much about you besides cooking and cleaning--like if, he isn't interested in your deen, beware. That's my advice. I managed to find a half dozen really good practicing brothers, some wanting to live in the states and some wanting to move back to Egypt and KSA... SO ladies, they are out there, but so are some really cultural creeps, and some perverts, and some weirdos, and some dudes that aren't right for you... So the things is, be strong in your deen. You should be looking for the ideal Muslim man. HIS personality (on tip of his deen) depends on YOUR personality, lol. I like to think of the men of the Sahaba, may Allah be pleased with them. Umar, strong but forceful (almost my type, lol). Ali (kind and considerate... not my type exactly though). Abu Bakr (honest, loyal, mentally and spiritually stong) [mashaAllah is all I can say]. Zaid (loved Allah and His Messenger so much).... I think the TYPE of personality depends on the woman, so knowing yourself, and how you want a person to react to things is important. But get the deen and character sorted out first. Then figure out personality. Then figure out living arrangements, kids, money, families, ect...
So conclusion, these sites work just fine but remember chatting to a man online without the purpose of finding out for marriage or increasing your deen or helping him with his is a fitnah so use them responsibly, and Islamically, always keeping an eye out to protect yourself from trolls:P
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